2012 within my reach

2012 is here in less than an hour. And I'm still arguing with my SO. Didn't get to cook, just potato salad. Plus other anti-good-vibes-for-ice-this-new-year's-eve events.

 2011 has been full of love. Love from the pains and joys I encountered. Indeed 2011 has made me a stronger person and I was made such to help others strong as well.

 I must say I was able to start a lot of things this year which I want to finally accomplish by this coming 2012. Such as splurging on a family vacay in Bohol, booking for an SG trip in 2012, and starting up an online business. But I will not reveal yet the reason behind these.

I am proud to say also that I have been able to test my patience this year. And because of this I am able to love super duper unconditionally.

My eyes are kinda blurry now. I gotta go. 2012 is here!

Pro-Divorce Bill

I think that divorce must be legalized in the Philippines because it is the solution to a lot of irrepairable marriages in our country. This, of course, should be with restrictions. A lot of people who are stuck in their marriage don’t have a choice so what happens is that the longer they stay in the relationship, the more wrong choices/decisions they make, thus they become “unacceptable” to our society. Divorce paves way for people to move on with their past lives. But if you have kids from a previous relationship, of course that does not mean you abandon them. Just like being married, it takes also a lot of responsibility to be divorced. Divorce should not be “an easy way out”.

For those who currently has an irrepairable marriage status, divorce grants them to become “religiously/socially acceptable” because, figuratively, it is a rebirth to a “new life” or a new beginning for two people. Spouses who were abused will now have a life that is free from their painful past. Because if we tolerate homes/ relationships that are not working, it is still considered morally incorrect. A relationship with no love, respect, and trust is nothing. It will just result to violence and abuse. While for those people who are living-in with their new partners do not need to hide from the society anymore. For as long as they become responsible for their own actions, choices and decisions, divorce will be an avenue for them to start anew. For those people who are left “single”, divorce will give them freedom from their past and will give back their confidence and trust in themselves and to other people as well.

For the people who are happily married, why fear this bill? If you know that you have a good foundation in your relationship with your spouse, then I don’t think there is a reason to be gravely affected if this bill will be passed. Happy marriages should stay as they are. You will not be forced to file a divorce if you do not want to.

Last Holy Week, I watched a movie entitled Fireproof. The story was about a fireman who has a downhill status in his marriage. His wife already filed a divorce and the papers are already waiting for the guy’s signature. Because of faith, remorse and so much love for his wife, he pursued her even though she was showing no signs of interest anymore. The story ended with both of them getting together again.

There was the presence of access to a divorce in the story but because of one’s pursuance to save their relationship, the divorce did not push through. It is always a matter of choice. Our choices in various situations differ. That is why my opinion regarding this bill is all about responsibility – responsibility in our actions and decisions. Divorce is for the people concerned. Divorce is about moving on. Divorce gives chance. Divorce should not complicate our society. Divorce is not for abusive people. Divorce is about responsibility.

(I do not intend to insult any sector of the society. This is just purely opinion. And if you will ask me if I have read the provisions of this bill, yes, I have read them.)

An aftershock that made me alive

Last night, while riding in a shuttle on my way home, there were a few flashes of events that happened lately that came into my mind. When I was already a few turns away from home, I can't help it, but tears fell from my eyes.

I guess the body fatigue that I had that time was a big factor for those thoughts to come to mind. Not that I'm saying that I'm burnt out from work, no, really. Actually, I have had my ways of coping up with work-related stress or whathaveyous. I guess my brain is just overused due to too much thinking.

I guess the imaginary wall that has been there all the time since my grandfather died, finally broke down. The wall that has been my support. My emotional support. As I have mentioned in my previous post, I haven't been emotional lately unless it has something to do with my late grandfather. Every time I hear issues or stories that are intended to enter in one ear and exit at the other, I have been always firm with myself not to comment about it, but rather to just go on with my normal life as if they (the other people from the other side of the street) will not affect us, or at least myself.

I guess I was wrong. I can never just ignore those things. Because if my family is affected, then I am affected. I can never disassociate myself from any issues or family matters.

I guess I was back last night. My old self was back. My true identity. My living half. I have been questioning why I felt like I was slowly being numb, but now the feeling is gone.

Those tears were the sign that I am alive again.

I really can't explain the feeling I had last night. When I got home, I still cannot contain myself. We had our late dinner and I was sniffing. Dad thought I had colds. Then suddenly, I was becoming teary-eyed, and Mom noticed it. I just told her, it was because of my colds.

I'd like to believe that this is how it came to this... When we were hearing stories, Mom and Dad were mostly affected. I was just there hearing, not listening. It was like a strike of an earthquake and they were the ones who were wrecked by the (main)shock. I was an unaffected area. But when an aftershock came, they were not affected, I was the one. So I guess this is an aftershock.

"ewan ko ba. lamo ung feeling na blanko ka pero parang andami mong iniisip
tapos ung pagod na hindi mo malaman kung pagod ba ung katawan mo ung isip mo o kung ano bang parte ng pagkatao mo ung pagod na" - Ice to Jobs

Politics

Yesterday was the proclamation of the results (for Presidency and VP) of the country's first automated elections. NoyBi were proclaimed, of course. Obviously.

To President-elect Aquino and Vice President-elect Binay, I salute you, sirs! Cheers!

Now, my wish is that the Filipino people would support the people of the new administration who will be soon inaugurated. Support and lift ourselves, that is. Because I personally believe that rallies and fighting for whatsoever rights that we have are nothing if we do not know what and how to change (in) our own shortcomings.

**********

Yesterday was the supposed to be 71st birthday of my lately late grandfather.

To my Dear Tatay, I miss you. A lot of things happened since you were gone. I haven't been emotional lately if it's not because of you. I don't know why. Is this because of too much politics happening in our family? Have I become a numb person? Cold hearted? I hope not. I'd like to believe that I grew stronger because of your loss. If that is the true reason, should I be thankful?

I know your soul is still here wandering. I pray that you will soon be with our Dear Lord. We will pray for you. I love you.

**********

Yesterday, I didn't feel good at work. Sometimes I think there's just a lot of people who get in to my nerves. But of course, I just ignore them. I'm not the kind of person who would like to get into trouble. Most of the time I prefer not to care about other people's unacceptable way of thinking. I don't know. I guess I avoid getting into too much politics.

Yes, politics is everywhere. Sad to say.

I am tired and uninspired.

Pansamantalang Pamamaalam

Si Tatay ay isang mapagmahal na asawa, maunawain na ama, maalagang lolo, mapagbigay na kapatid, tapat na kaibigan at magaling na manggagamot. Hindi siya nagkulang sa pangaral niya sa mga malalapit sa kanya. Kahanga-hanga ang talino at tapang ni Tatay. Pero sa kabila nito, simple lang naman ang gusto niya. Ang makasalo sa pagkain at makakwentuhan kahit sandali ang kanyang mga mahal sa buhay. Ngunit kung minsan, hindi natin siya napagbibigyan sa gusto niya. Patawad po, Tay. Patawad po sa pagiging abala namin sa trabaho at ibang bagay.

Kaisa ng pamilya Santos, taos-puso kaming nagpapasalamat sa mga taong naka-alala at naka-dalo ngayon at nitong nakaraang apat na araw.

Salamat sa mga kapamilya at kaibigang nakiramay, tumulong at nagpayo. Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon, sa inyo lang kami kumukuha ng lakas.

Maraming salamat sa lahat ng naki-simpatya at nagdasal.

Ngayong ika-labing lima ng Mayo taong 2010, ang ating pinakamamahal na si Tatay Rudy ay ihahatid na natin sa kanyang huling hantungan. Salamat po, Tatay, sa mga magagandang alaala. Mamimiss ka namin. Paalam na po muna. Makikita ka namin muli.


-Funeral Mass for our late Rodolfo G. Santos. May you rest in peace.

April Mission

April is for working things out.

...with myself, my family, my friends, my community, and my craft.

This month will be the beginning of my healthy lifestyle. Yes, this is for good. Well, I already started buying exercise equipment to be added to those stuff we already have here at home. I'm starting to create a (weight) loser-friendly environment. I'm now a health buff! Haha.

This month, I suppose, will mark a drastic change in my family's life. The lot my family (my grand parents) owns in Baras, Rizal is to be sold. That includes our poultry. Oo, mawawalan na kami ng kabuhayan. All our stuff from Baras are now being brought back here. Damn. This is really happening. For real. Sana masaya na kayo. Wala na lahat.

This month, I will re-connect with my friends. That is, my friends since high school. MC friends and Church friends. I really missed my MC friends. They've been really busy. There's gonna be a lot of catching up to do. I hope we'll be all complete in our long-time-ago not-so-planned getaway.

This month, I want to go back in getting involved in the community. Getting involved once again means re-connecting with my Church friends. I am going back to DMT, but when I do that, I want to make sure that I am capable of being committed to the organization again.

Maverick Media Solution's Account Executive. 8daysAweek Music Production's Marketing Manager. These two are my craft. One that puts food on the table and one that keeps my heart pumping blood. This month will be for improving my work performance. After 7 months, it's time to finally come out of my shell and show the world who I really am. Hello, corporate world! This is me! Sorry, I really needed a long break to realize this. =) As for 8daysAweek, I will plan outright all the things we need for our most anticipated project of the year. Hope everything goes well. This month will mark everything for that project.

Hats off to March!

Heads up!

Let's go!

March defined.

–verb (used without object)
1. to walk with regular and measured tread, as soldiers on parade; advance in step in an organized body.
2. to walk in a stately, deliberate manner.
3. to go forward; advance; proceed: Time marches on.

–verb (used with object)
4. to cause to march.

–noun
5. the act or course of marching.
6. the distance covered in a single period of marching.
7. advance; progress; forward movement: the march of science.
8. a piece of music with a rhythm suited to accompany marching.

A few more hours as this month nears its end. March has been a month of letting go, bidding goodbye, and turning your back. FORWARD. ADVANCE. PROCEED.

March made me really feel bad. Not once, not twice, but a lot of times.

This month, I felt like a friend betrayed me.
This month, I felt like a lover abandoned me.
This month, I felt like a sister left me...for her own family.

To my friend, enough has been said.

To my lover, I really do not know it its my stupidity or my want for complexity of the situation that made me call you that -- lover. I must admit I was very much affected about the story my friend disclosed to me. It was about you. It was logical enough to think that it is the reason why you suddenly went idle in my life. Although you were already sort of near-to-be-kicked-away from life, but to my surprise you became a reason again for my so-called temporary highness. Why did you ever made me feel high again? I wish you never came back. 'Cause you know what? I was already beginning to really like you. But that story made my thought balloon of our happy thoughts burst...and now, gone.

But still, I miss you.

To my sister, I sort of regret those days I was not able to join you for lunch or afternoon snacks. You are such a wonderful soul. I wish we had more time to spend outside our multicolored home. Thank you for sharing with us your superb talent. Thank you also for introducing me to the music of your 'lover' in dreadlocks. Haha. Thanks, really. Loved the (ripped) EP.

Oh, and one more thing, I really envy your 'feature' of not getting fat or not having to worry about belly issues even if you eat A LOT. Haha. One more month, and you are off. Looking forward that you join us in our Pangasinan getaway. Let's go!

**********

A lot more sad stories, fail stories, and shiz filled up my March. No holding back. It's time. FORWARD. ADVANCE. PROCEED.