"I can't wait to see the day when these painful tears all go away."

--And Then I Turned Seven

Change

You know when something changes in you. Yes, people would notice it. Some would bother telling you they notice it, others wouldn’t. The thing is when you confront them and you discover that they have affirmed or confirmed that change they noticed, which you yourself don’t know, with somebody else, and then remained silent about it, you can’t avoid feeling hurt; maybe because they were able to form thoughts about you. And just the thought of not being able to speak for your self hurts a lot. It really gets into your nerves when people do this: pinapangunahan ka.

It really takes a lifetime to know a person. If you notice something about a person, and you are directly related with this person, might as well tell it directly to him, in one any way you can. Let that person know what you are thinking about him. It pays a lot for that person to hear you out because whatever it is you’re going to tell directly concerns him. Whether it would make his heart flutter or hurt him like hell.

Remains

It’s hard when you feel that people are slowly drifting apart from you. Those people whom you were with at the hardest time of your life, and then suddenly it changes. Yes, everything changes, but this change is hard. It isn’t healthy. Yes, everyday you are with them, but the feeling is different. When you’re with them, you still feel that there is a certain barrier that keeps you from them. And you don’t know what that barrier is. You try to bridge the gap, but the harder you try, the farther you become from them. It’s really hard when after all the efforts you’ve made, nothing seems enough. And it hurts badly. Really. This is because these people mean so much to you. And you’re afraid of losing them.

I woke up, checked the remains of last night’s discussion, closed my eyes once again, and then suddenly, a tear fell…

Music Fest

I watched Pax Romana's MusicFest. My friends, Vic, Miguel, and Juy played., while Brion danced. I wasn't able to take a picture of Vic and Bri, but here are Miguel and Juy's and their drummer's pic...

Yeah, I know the pictures aren't of good quality. Bear with me. Still need to wait for someone to sponsor me a Sony Cybershot DSC w50 digital camera.

Return

Remembering the promises you made torn my heart once again
Every bit of your memory comes back
Why should it be this way?
We are now miles apart
Set me free
Please let me go
Is my heart still with you?
Bring it back to me
I need it to be back to be free
Let go
Please let go

That Thing

This dream from the past haunts me
A premonition – that I don’t know
I have to know
That thing
That thing
I have to know

In conflict with myself
Don’t know what to do
Confused
What must I choose?
I’m torn
My mind’s battling with my heart
What must I do?
Should I give it to you?
That thing
Should I give it to you?

Set Me Free

You are still here with me
Set me free
I need to be free

Just ask for it
Go on
Come to me

I’ll give it to thee
I’ll forgive you
Just come to me

My Provider

I miss you so much
It feels like I’m slowly drifting apart
Bring me back to you
I want to be by your side

I want to be whole again
Give me your guidance
Give me your light
It is you whom I need

I’m longing for you
Give me answers
Give me peace
Give me what I need

Vacuity

I never wanted anyone
The way I wanted you
But that doesn’t matter now
The fiery coals of reckless love has died

That was Monday
Beginning of the week
At half past three
You made me hate you again
You said you had to go
And so I let you

No more comebacks
No more illusory promises
No more shower of tears
No more

Reality vs. Possibility

I was blinded by strong emotions
Placed the negative thoughts at the back of my mind
Set aside reality to love you
But it wasn’t enough

I gave everything
What I did and what I said were all of me
All for you

I never had the strength to let you go
But I had to
It hurts like hell to walk away
To think that we just had a good play
I was desperate for your love that was lost along the way
“I have to go,” that was your last say

Holding hands

Our hands were clenched
It loosened
You wanted to be free
I still held on
You struggled
I had no choice
I let go

Smile of Forgetful

You captivated my soul
You stole my heart
I am nothing but a body
With nothing inside me

I am a barren land
Unfertile
Famine took over
Destroyed

I am off to the land of forgetting
No longer crestfallen
I am off to my mundane living
To be elated once again

Shipwreck

The love, the love
I had them
The lies, the lies
You had them
I thought you were different
I thought we were different
I was wrong
You proved me wrong
Our story never sailed smoothly
Ours was the same shipwreck

Defenseless

Your kiss
Your embrace
Your voice
Your face

Your memory haunts me
Nostalgia kills me
A casualty of your love
A victim of uncertainty

I buried my love for you
Let it wallow in anger
But you are invincible
No matter how you hurt me
My love chooses to stay

Untitled

They want to take everything from me
Can someone save me?
I need someone to be here
Be my hero and save me

How could I go on if I’m alone?
Please don’t take everything from me
You’re my everything
Please don’t go

I won’t be whole again
I’m torn into pieces
Mend my heart
Be here at my side

I love you, my life
I’ll wait for you
I’m still here
Because of you

Away

You told me not to go
But still I did
And so right there I saw it
She was there and I’m here
You’re with her and I’m with myself
I’ve waited for this moment
A moment others would fear
But never did I fear this
For this was what I wanted
An expectation fulfilled
A poison that flows through my veins
A heat that pricks me just like the sun’s
A hammer that crushes my bones
You may think this got me
You’re wrong
Wait and see who I’ll be
I’ll be someone greater than you thought I could ever be
My wish is for you to be happy
Happy alone
My wish for you
Be alone

Rebirth to blogging

This is my second blog. I created a new one for my literary works. This new blog will reflect my maturity in "blogging". You might want to compare my present with my previous one. www.tabulas.com/~meleeza

In my next entry will be a bulk of my unposted compositions. Some of them were used as lyrics of recently composed songs.